The Return of Warren
by Alex Stockwell
Summary: An old acquaintance of Spike's returns, with special plans for his killer.
1. Default Chapter

Angel  
  
The Return of Warren  
  
By Alex Stockwell  
  
Intro: End of Episode X  
  
Wesley is sitting in his office at Wolfram & Hart after that week's  
  
adventure, looking over a book of prophecies, when a new one appears  
  
before him. He reads it a couple of times, then gets up and rushes to Angel's  
  
office. There he finds Angel looking at some paper work.  
  
"Angel."  
  
Angel looks up. "Hm?"  
  
"New prophecy. From the looks of it, it should have appeared over a  
  
week ago."  
  
"Sounds about right. What's it about?"  
  
"Something about an evil mortal returning, and gaining unholy  
  
power."  
  
"Vampirism's pretty unholy."  
  
"Yes, well, I'll have Fred cross reference that possibility, though it  
  
says this mortal will be more powerful than any vampire."  
  
Shrugging, "Maybe he or she was a wizard."  
  
"Well, I'm trying not to think of that. Last time I did I had to do my  
  
laundry early."  
  
Meanwhile, in a dark alley, all is still. Suddenly, there's a rumbling  
  
noise, a great swirling wind, and a bright light from above. Out of the  
  
ruckus, a body falls, a young man with sideburns and a lot of body hair. It's  
  
Warren Meers. Groaning, he gets up, stumbles around, and grunts, "Where  
  
the hell am I?"  
  
He's answered by a voice from the shadows. "Back where you  
  
belong."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Oh, no one you know. But we do have a common acquaintance."  
  
"Who?"  
  
Just then, Drusilla steps out of the shadows. "Spoike."  
  
End of episode. Cue closing credits.  
  
Episode: Best Served Cold  
  
Previously, on Angel, and on Buffy.  
  
"His name is Warren Meers. He was at Sunnydale with us for a  
  
semester."  
  
"I'm placing an order."  
  
"We're, like, Super Villains. Heh heh!"  
  
"You're a sad little boy!"  
  
"You think you can just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away  
  
with it?!? Think again!" Blam Blam! Tink!  
  
"Tara?"  
  
"Help!!"  
  
"Bored now." Rriip!  
  
"An evil mortal returning, and gaining unholy power."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Oh, no one you know. But we do have a common acquaintance."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Spoike."  
  
Fade in.  
  
Fred is at her computer, while Spike looks over her shoulder.  
  
"So Captain Forehead thinks some powerful wizard is gonna be  
  
resurrected and turned into a vamp?"  
  
"That's about the gist of it. I'm looking for wizards who died an  
  
untimely death."  
  
"Well, you get too serious with that stuff, an untimely death is pretty  
  
much guaranteed."  
  
Fred rubs her brow. "I can't help but think we're missing something.  
  
Like the thing we're looking for happened when we were all too  
  
preoccupied to notice. And I also think it's not gonna be on here, like  
  
maybe this wizard died right after gaining this awesome power."  
  
Spike suddenly looks thoughtful, "You know, science queen, that just  
  
rang a bell up here," points to head, "but I have no idea what it means."  
  
Cut back to Warren in the alley with Drusilla.  
  
"How do you know Spike?"  
  
"I sired the naughty boy."  
  
"So, why bring me back?"  
  
"Cause you're a smart boy, and powerful, too."  
  
"And I knew Spike. So, what do you want me to do?"  
  
"Bring me my two bad boys."  
  
"Two?"  
  
"Spoike and Angel."  
  
"Okay, so what's in it for me?"  
  
"Well," Drusilla giggled, "to get them, you're gonna need something  
  
from me. And, when you're done," she giggled a little more, "you can take  
  
revenge on the one that done you in!"  
  
Warren smiles viciously, "Willow."  
  
Cue opening credits.  
  
Angel  
  
David Boreanaz  
  
Alexis Denisof  
  
J. August Richards  
  
Amy Acker  
  
Andy Hallet  
  
Tom Lenk  
  
And James Marsters  
  
Created by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt  
  
Special Guest Stars  
  
Juliet Landau  
  
Alyson Hannigan  
  
Iyari Limon  
  
Adam Busch as Warren  
  
Fade in.  
  
Willow and Kennedy are having lunch on San Francisco's famous  
  
Fisherman's Wharf.  
  
"This place is better than the place we ate at yesterday." Kennedy  
  
says.  
  
"Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get sick of eating clams." Willow  
  
replies.  
  
Looking off into the distance, Kennedy points with her plastic fork.  
  
"Was that shack there earlier?"  
  
Willow looks in the direction she's pointing at. After a long pause, "I  
  
think I should go over there."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't know, I just feel like I should go."  
  
Meanwhile, Lorne is listening to Andrew sing.  
  
"At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina."  
  
"Hm, interesting."  
  
Just then, Gunn sticks his head in. "Hey, Green Jeans. If you got a  
  
moment, Angel wants to go over the entertainment for Johnson's retirement  
  
party."  
  
"Okay, Kato. Uh, talk to you later, Andrew."  
  
"'Kay."  
  
Andrew goes to the break room, and gets a can of Jolt from the fridge.  
  
Leaving, he runs into Spike going in to get some blood.  
  
"Hey, kid. Just been in with Greeny?"  
  
"Yeah. I had a weird dream, so he had me sing Star Wars Cantina."  
  
"I sang My Way."  
  
"Interesting choice. So, what's this about a new vamp coming to  
  
wreak havoc?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, Boss Man and Percy say some evil mortal with a lot of  
  
power's gonna get raised and then turned."  
  
"A lot of power?" Andrew looks like a bell just rang.  
  
"Yeah. Fred reckons he or she might have gotten all this power then  
  
gotten himself killed before he could gain any kind of fame, which is why  
  
we're having such a bloody hard time finding him."  
  
Andrew looked anxious. "That's.interesting."  
  
"Well, anyway, must eat, or I'm dead all day."  
  
"Um, okay."  
  
Spike walks into the break room, and is opening the fridge, when he  
  
hears a voice behind him.  
  
"Hey, Spike." Spike turns around, and sees a familiar face.  
  
"Warren?"  
  
"You remember me. Good."  
  
"Didn't you die?"  
  
"I could ask you the same question."  
  
"Yeah, but I had some pendant thingy. What's your excuse?"  
  
Warren smirks. "Oh, I think you know her. Black hair, fair skin,  
  
talks like she's stoned."  
  
Spike's brow furrows. "Dru? Why would she bring you back?"  
  
"Cause we have something in common. You."  
  
"So, what, does she want you to deliver a message?"  
  
"No, not really. I don't think she would've exchanged plasma with  
  
me just for a piddling message."  
  
Spike's brow furrows even more. "She vamped you?"  
  
"Ding ding ding! Rob Roddy, tell the man what he wins." Dead  
  
silence. "Oh, wait, he died, didn't he. Oh, well." Warren vamps out.  
  
"Enough banter, Dru wants you, pronto."  
  
"Hello, earth to robot boy, you're a new vamp. You think you can  
  
take me?"  
  
"A new vamp? Could a new vamp do this?" Warren lashes his hand  
  
out, and lightning flies from his fingers and tazes Spike, who screams,  
  
lurches, and falls down. Warren ambles over to Spike, twitching on the  
  
floor. "You like that? I call it my Emperor Palpatine Special." He then  
  
continues to jolt Spike for half a minute, then leans over, and says, "Oh,  
  
before we go, I gotta leave a message. Not for Dru, this is my own affair."  
  
He pulls out a knife. "You mind?"  
  
Break for commercial.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Angel and Gunn saunter into the break room.  
  
"Yeah, so Johnson wants Krilocch demon strippers. That is legal,  
  
right?"  
  
"Yeah, but not very appealing. He does know Krilocchs have both  
  
sets of genitals, right?"  
  
"Yeah, he-" Angel stops in midsentence. "The window's broken."  
  
He edges away, so as not to catch any sunlight.  
  
"You smell that?" Gunn sniffs. "Smells like burnt hair gel."  
  
"Hm.The fridge door's open, too. Think they're related?"  
  
"How about adding in the message in blood on our wall?"  
  
Angel turns and sees Gunn staring at the wall to their left, then stares  
  
with him for a moment. "Pretty good penmanship for bloodwriting on a  
  
wall. 'I'm coming for you, dyke.'" Turns to Gunn. "Think he means  
  
Willow?"  
  
"I don't know, but that ain't pig's blood. Whoever took Spike used  
  
him for a pen."  
  
"Well, looks like we have one piece of our magivamp puzzle.  
  
Whoever it was knew Spike, and probably knew Willow too."  
  
"Tell Fred. She knows Will pretty closely."  
  
Meanwhile, Warren is dropping Spike off at Dru's hideout.  
  
Spike, half-conscious, says, "Why didn't Andrew see you?"  
  
"Simple invisibility spell. Just walked right by me."  
  
"Okay, how'd you get into WH without setting off any alarms?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, the welcoming thingy. It's a law firm, open to anyone  
  
seeking retribution."  
  
"You're after Red?"  
  
"Right again. You know, that's one thing we have in common; we've  
  
both been totally incinerated. Only difference is, before that, I had my skin  
  
ripped off."  
  
"Oh, boo hoo. Ever have a chip in your head that goes off when you  
  
try to hurt someone?"  
  
"No, but you got laid before you died."  
  
"Alright, you win. You realize Dru's only using you."  
  
"Completely. Just like I'm using her to get back at Willow. And, also  
  
to release twenty-one years of sexual frustration."  
  
"So, what are you gonna do, kill her?"  
  
"Maybe, eventually. First, though, there are some other things I might  
  
do to her. Still working on that."  
  
"So," Spike slumps a little, "why didn't you need to cover up when  
  
you were taking me here? I didn't see any leather trenchcoat on you."  
  
"Another thing we have in common." Warren walked around, waving  
  
his arms dramatically, "Dru told me about this thing you once went after  
  
called the Gem of Amara. Apparently, this Angel guy destroyed it, but not  
  
too completely for someone of my magical acumen to reassemble. Of  
  
course, you won't find it on me now. I absorbed it, so I could wield it's  
  
power without someone taking it from me, and turning me into powder."  
  
"Geez, Spock, you thought of everything."  
  
Just then, Drusilla walks in. "Yes, he is a smart boy." She and  
  
Warren start necking.  
  
"Eeyugh." Spike says.  
  
Warren frees his lips for a second. "Still can't believe you let this one  
  
go. For what? Super bitch? She looks like a beef jerky with blonde hair,  
  
for crisakes!"  
  
"Yeah, you would've shagged her."  
  
"Yeah, beggars can't be choosers. But you're not exactly a beggar,  
  
are you?"  
  
"I do pretty well."  
  
Meanwhile, Fred is taking a sample of the blood from the wall. "It's a  
  
longshot, but the blood might contain traces of the knife used, especially if it  
  
was used on the wall. Hopefully, this person doesn't just use generic  
  
cutlery."  
  
Andrew walks in. "Hey, what's happening?"  
  
"Oh, don't come in here, Andrew. It's pretty gruesome."  
  
"Don't worry, I haven't eaten. All I'll do is dry heave."  
  
Angel speaks. "Someone took Spike."  
  
"Did they leave any clues?"  
  
Lorne comes in behind him. "Okay, Wesley tried to reach Willow,  
  
but she can't seem to be found."  
  
"What about Willow?" Andrew asks, getting anxious.  
  
"Apparently," Lorne says, to Andrew, "whoever took Spike also knew  
  
Willow."  
  
"What?"  
  
Gunn speaks, "Left a little calling card, written in blood on the wall.  
  
'I'm coming for you, dyke.'"  
  
Andrew, in his quiet, worried tone, says, "I knew someone who talked  
  
like that."  
  
"Who?"  
  
Spike is now chained to a post on the floor, and Drusilla is bringing in  
  
a car battery, as Warren leans over. "Triscuit?"  
  
Break for commercial.  
  
Warren is instructing Dru on placing the alligator clips. "Yeah, put  
  
'em on his nipples." Warren reaches over and presses a button on the car  
  
battery, and Spike lurches in pain.  
  
"AAAUUURRRGGGHHH!!!" After it stops, Spike, gasping for air,  
  
says, "You know, those guys are gonna come for me soon."  
  
"They don't even know who took you."  
  
"Don't bet on it. Andrew's there."  
  
Warren is silent for a minute, then says, "Ah, crud. I'm gonna have  
  
to move up kidnapping this Angel guy, then. It's alright, though. Adapt."  
  
Then he presses the button again.  
  
At W&H, Andrew is talking to the others. "And he made it look like  
  
Buffy killed her by accident."  
  
"Geez." Wesley says. "And now he's probably a vampire." He  
  
shivers.  
  
"I didn't say anything earlier because I wasn't sure. But it's definitely  
  
him."  
  
"So, how powerful is he?" Angel says.  
  
"Well, he soaked up quite a lot of magic before he got killed. If he  
  
still has it, God only knows."  
  
Back at the hideout, Warren is getting ready to go out. "What do you  
  
think, Dru? Metroid, or Zelda?"  
  
"Um, Idunno."  
  
"I'll wear Zelda." He scrambles into the Zelda t-shirt, then points to  
  
the car battery. "Now remember, just press that button, to get him to go all  
  
lurchy." He walks out the door, then gets into a blue bug, and drives off.  
  
A half hour later, Angel is walking into the lobby at W&H, with Fred  
  
behind. "Okay, so we've got our best men searching for this guy, so far,  
  
nothing."  
  
"You know, after what Andrew told us, I actually find myself worried  
  
about Spike. Hard to believe no one's seen this nutjob."  
  
In the lobby, people are running back and forth, on their own little  
  
errands. Gunn comes up, and says, "We got a few leads on Crazy White  
  
Boy's whereabouts. A couple of witnesses spotted him going into an  
  
abandoned building near the redlight district, carrying a car battery."  
  
"Car battery?" Angel is stunned for a second. "This guy's sick. And  
  
I should know, I used to be an expert on torture."  
  
Just then, Warren walks in the front door with a bullhorn. He flicks a  
  
switch, and it blasts "Hallelujah Chorus" for a second, getting everyone's  
  
attention. He curses under his breath, and fiddles with it, trying to find the  
  
right switch. When he does, he brings it to his lips, while everyone stares  
  
amazed. "Okay, how is everyone today? Great, listen, I'm looking for this  
  
guy Angel. Which one of you is Angel? Anyone? Look, fess up, or I start  
  
frying brains."  
  
Break for commercial  
  
"C'mon, I'm serious here."  
  
Angel steps through the crowd. "I'm Angel. And you are?"  
  
"Warren. Nice to meet ya." He makes a handshake motion, and  
  
lightning once again flies from his fingertips, which Angel dodges. "Damn.  
  
Well, you were on your guard, unlike Spike." He then jumps up, and does a  
  
Matrix move, kicking Angel in the chest. "Just call me Neo." A bunch of  
  
security guards show up. "Oh, cool! I was hoping I'd get to do this." The  
  
second the guards start firing, Warren does the sideways-wall-running move,  
  
and quickly garrotes all of them with a pocket knife, then he licks the blade,  
  
and, in a Mister Burns voice, says, "Precious blood." He then blasts Angel,  
  
who's still on the floor, with a few thousand volts, and then holds him up by  
  
the neck. "So you're this Angel guy. Thought you'd be Mexican. Like  
  
your hair, though."  
  
"Put him down." Wesley says, appearing out of nowhere, with a  
  
shotgun aimed point blank at Warren's back. Warren drops Angel and then  
  
does a back-flip, landing behind Wes, and grabs and breaks his arm in one  
  
swift motion. Wesley, as tough as he is, lets out a blood-curdling scream.  
  
"I've always wanted to do that!" A couple of arrows land dead center  
  
in his chest. Looking down at them, he says, "Oh, yeah, forgot to mention  
  
that. Reassembled that gem of Amara thingy, and absorbed it, so now I'm  
  
indestructible." He looks at the person who fired them, Gunn, and says,  
  
"Hadouken!" and a fireball flies out from his hand, and explodes right in  
  
front of Gunn, knocking him on his ass. "Anyone else wanna play?" Warren  
  
says, like in a bad action movie. Just then, Lorne, who was out getting  
  
lunch, walks in at the wrong time.  
  
"Hey, I got lun-" and Warren puts him in a headlock.  
  
"Hey, you're Pylaean, right?" then he grabs Lorne by the hair, and  
  
sings, "Momma had a baby and his head popped off!" and he rips off  
  
Lorne's head with 'head,' and then dropkicks it. "Well, it's been fun," he  
  
picks up Angel, "But I gotta go."  
  
"Not if I can help it." Warren looks at the front door, and sees who  
  
just entered.  
  
"Willow. I guess ripping my skin off once wasn't enough for you."  
  
"I'm not here for revenge this time. I'm here to stop you."  
  
"Please, not even Dark Willow could stop me now. Still, tempting,  
  
isn't it? I know you still lust for the power again. Open up, let go!"  
  
Willow just looks solemn for a minute, then says, "Nope, sorry. Not  
  
gonna work."  
  
"Oh, fine." He fires a powerful magical blast at her, which she blocks  
  
with her hands, then channels back at him. "Ouch. Well, this should work."  
  
He casts a vacuum pocket in front of her, knocking her off her feet, and  
  
break several windows around her. "See you soon." He then flies out the  
  
door with Angel in tow, covered in a dark field. After a dozen yards, he runs  
  
into Kennedy, guarding outside, who whacks him with a baseball bat, not  
  
phasing him, but getting his attention. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
"Name's Kennedy. I'm with Willow."  
  
"Oh, I see. So, I kill her one true love, and she goes and scoffs  
  
another! Now that really burns my ass. You know you're only a rebound  
  
muff, right?"  
  
"SHUT UP!" Then she hits him so hard, she breaks the bat.  
  
"Looks like I hit a nerve." He then cracks her on the jaw, knocking  
  
her out. "Bye." And he's gone.  
  
A few minutes later, everyone's recovering from the encounter.  
  
Lorne is having his head reattached, and Wesley's arm is being set back.  
  
Willow squats in front of him. "What happened?"  
  
"Well, he just sort of.showed up, and the carnage ensued. He said  
  
he reassembled the gem of Amara, then absorbed it."  
  
"So we can't take it from him?"  
  
"No. And he still has all the magic he had when you killed him."  
  
"Yeah, I knew that."  
  
"How?"  
  
"I'll tell you later. So, who made him a vamp?"  
  
"Drusilla. That's why he took Angel and Spike. She wants revenge  
  
on them, and in return, she gave him what he needed to have his revenge on  
  
you."  
  
"I figured something like that. I wish I had some idea what he plans  
  
to do. He's obviously not gonna just kill me."  
  
"Yeah," Lorne said, getting onto his feet, "about that. Right before he  
  
ripped my head off, he sang a little ditty often associated with dandelions,  
  
and I got a glimpse of his plan. He hadn't figured out what he was gonna do  
  
yet, but he had figured out who it would involve."  
  
"Who?"  
  
Just then, Warren got back to his and Dru's lair, where Dru was  
  
having fun with the car battery. Seeing Angel, she squealed with glee, and  
  
ran over to him, and held his head up. "Hello, deary. Miss me?"  
  
"Hey, guess who I ran into."  
  
"Oh, did you kill her? Did you spray her guts?"  
  
"No, that wouldn't have satisfied me. Especially now that I finally  
  
know what I'm gonna do to her."  
  
"Ooh, tell!"  
  
"She thinks she's Miss Spiritual Strength now? Miss.Like-a-Rock?  
  
Let's see what happens when I make her slay the love of her life!"  
  
To be continued. 


	2. The Return of Warren Part 2

Angel  
  
The Return of Warren Part 2  
  
By Alex Stockwell  
  
Episode: Bored Now  
  
Previously, on Angel...  
  
"So Captain Forehead thinks some powerful wizard is gonna be  
  
resurrected and turned into a vamp?"  
  
"You can take revenge on the one that done you in!"  
  
"Willow."  
  
"I think I should go over there."  
  
"Hey, Spike."  
  
"Warren?"  
  
"The Gem of Amara. I absorbed it, so I could wield it's power  
  
without someone taking it from me, and turning me into powder."  
  
"I'm coming for you, dyke."  
  
"I knew someone who talked like that."  
  
"I'm Angel. And you are?"  
  
"Warren. Nice to meet ya."  
  
"I'm not here for revenge this time. I'm here to stop you."  
  
"Let's see what happens when I make her slay the love of her life!"  
  
Fade in.  
  
6 hours ago.  
  
Willow enters the mysterious shack.  
  
"Hello? Anyone?" Compulsively, she moves towards the shadows.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
She's answered by a familiar voice. "Willow, you made it."  
  
Hearing the voice, Willow stops dead, and listens to her heart race.  
  
"T-tara?"  
  
Out of the shadows steps Tara Maclay. "You remember my voice.  
  
That's sweet."  
  
"Oh, God, The First! Y-you're not gonna trick me!"  
  
"What? No, he can't get in here. The Powers That Be sent me. This  
  
is sort of a, what was the term they used, closure shack, or something. They  
  
put 'em up in emergencies, when someone needs strength, but are still too  
  
haunted by something."  
  
"You are Tara. No one else talks like that." She starts blubbing.  
  
"What do they want with me?"  
  
"I think you'd better sit down."  
  
Now.  
  
Fred is helping Gunn up. "You okay?"  
  
"That depends. Do I still have eyebrows?"  
  
Just then, Kennedy stumbles in, rubbing her head. "Man, that asshole  
  
really clocked me!"  
  
Willow runs over. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you out  
  
there. I thought you'd be safer if he didn't know you were with me."  
  
"Well, if I'd known that, I wouldn't have blabbed it to him."  
  
"He knows? Why didn't he kill you?"  
  
"I think he underestimated our relationship. He called me a rebound  
  
muff."  
  
"Still the same asshole."  
  
Wesley, his arm in an ersatz sling, says, "We need to find out where  
  
he's keeping Angel and Spike."  
  
Fred says, "I'll get on it."  
  
In the abandoned building, Warren is looking over Angel. "You  
  
know, I have to say this, you look like you walked into a tree. I mean in  
  
general, not just because of getting your ass handed to you."  
  
Drusilla embraces him from behind. "You know, ducks, I should  
  
probably get them to London soon, if I'm going to perform the ritual."  
  
"Do you have the jars?"  
  
"Of course." She pulls two jars out of a cabinet that look very much  
  
like the one Angel's soul was trapped in during the ordeal with The Beast.  
  
"You boys will be mine again, soon." She giggles manically.  
  
Warren kissed her cheek, then said, "First, though, we should rally the  
  
troops."  
  
Cue opening credits.  
  
Angel  
  
David Boreanaz  
  
Alexis Denisof  
  
J. August Richards  
  
Amy Acker  
  
Andy Hallet  
  
Tom Lenk  
  
And James Marsters  
  
Created by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt  
  
Special Guest Stars  
  
Juliet Landau  
  
Alyson Hannigan  
  
Iyari Limon  
  
Adam Busch as Warren  
  
Amber Benson as Tara  
  
Just outside of the red light district, Gunn and Andrew stop in front of  
  
an abandoned building. They get out and stare at it.  
  
"Was this vacant lot always here?" Gunn says.  
  
"I wouldn't know, I haven't been here that long. Maybe it's that one."  
  
He points to the building next door. He and Gunn go to check it out.  
  
Upstairs, in the building they were just missing, Warren is looking out  
  
the window at them. "Ha! Worked like a charm!" Crouches in front of  
  
Angel. "And you thought they'd find us." Slaps him on the shoulder. "You  
  
kill me."  
  
"What are you bleating about?" Spike says.  
  
"It's an illusion. A variation on the SEP field." Blank looks from  
  
both of them. "SEP? You guys never read Douglas Adams? It stands for  
  
Somebody Else's Problem. They don't see it, because they don't expect it.  
  
All they know is I have you in a building in this area. They don't happen to  
  
know there's a building right on this spot."  
  
Back at WH, Willow has explained to the others, sitting around the  
  
big table, what led her here.  
  
"It was Tara?" Wesley says.  
  
"Yeah. She told me some other things, too, not just about the  
  
problems I've had with her death, but some things she wanted me to tell you  
  
guys. About Cordy."  
  
"She's met Cordy?" Fred replies.  
  
"Yeah, apparently she's started dating this Dennis guy. Tara said you  
  
know him."  
  
"Oh, yeah," Wes says, "Phantom Dennis. Good to see he's out."  
  
At that point, Gunn and Andrew come back. "Well, we got nothing.  
  
We checked every building there, no sign of UberGeek."  
  
Andrew chimes in, "Hey, you know they demolished one of the  
  
buildings there. I think it was a while ago, cause it was all cleared out, just  
  
an empty lot."  
  
"That's odd," Wesley ponders, "we didn't hear anything about that."  
  
Back in the redlight district, as night falls, Warren looks out the  
  
window, where over a hundred vampires are gathering in the street in front  
  
of the building. "Ah, my diversion is here."  
  
Break for commercial  
  
Warren stands on the front steps, speaking to his small army of  
  
vamps, affecting a booming, Saruman-esque voice. "A new power is rising.  
  
Its victory is at hand. This night the streets will be stained with the blood of  
  
our enemies. March to Wolfram and Hart. Leave none alive. To war."  
  
"Man," one of the vamps says, "He's good."  
  
"If all of you storm Wolfram and Hart at once, they won't be able to  
  
hold you back! Victory is assured!"  
  
"Yeah," another, big and tall vamp blurts out, "right. Why would we  
  
follow a little pipsqueak like you?"  
  
Without looking at him, Warren telekinetically picks him up,  
  
"Because," then slams him into the ground several times. "That's why."  
  
A bit later, Willow is searching on Yahoo Maps for the address of the  
  
empty lot. "Well, according to this, it really is an empty lot. However, it's  
  
obvious this site's been affected by some kind of magical field."  
  
Fred says, "So, you're saying he's covered his tracks?"  
  
"Hey, he's no dummy."  
  
"He has the Evil Overlord list memorized." Andrew says.  
  
At that moment, a new set of guards is in the lobby, keeping watch.  
  
One of them looks up from his Hustler, and says, "Um, Jim?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look outside. Tell me I'm hallucinating."  
  
Jim looks outside, and sees the same thing: About a hundred or so  
  
vampires standing out in front of W&H. The vampires start howling and  
  
beating their chests with one hand.  
  
One vampire turns to another, "Why are we doing this?"  
  
"Idunno, he saw it in some movie, said it would scare the bejeezus out  
  
of them."  
  
Inside, the guards are crapping in their boots. One of them sets off an  
  
alarm.  
  
Hearing this, the gang all looks up at the flashing red lights. Gunn  
  
mouths "Oh, fu-"  
  
Back in the lobby, the vampires start storming in, killing guards left  
  
and right.  
  
Upstairs, the club, having seen the carnage on a security monitor, are  
  
quickly coming up with a plan of action. "Okay," Willow says, "I can cast a  
  
moving shield spell, and get us out of here."  
  
"No," Wesley says, "some of us have to stay and fight. The question  
  
is, who goes with you, and what will you do when you get there?"  
  
"I don't need backup, I have my own secret weapon."  
  
"Well, I'm going anyway." Andrew says, "I have a bone to pick."  
  
A few minutes later, the battle is continuing between the vamps and  
  
the guards. Suddenly, the elevator doors open, and several arrows fly out  
  
into the lobby, dusting several vampires. A second later, two people  
  
surrounded by a swirling magic orb burst out, run out the front, and jump  
  
into a blue VW bug and take off.  
  
At the abandoned building, Warren is getting into his recently stolen  
  
75 Thunderbird. He looks at a road map. "Uh, lessee, ah, Sunnydale! Or  
  
what's left of it." He drives off for the crater formerly known as Sunnydale.  
  
Break for commercial.  
  
Angel and Spike are still chained to the wall, and Spike has been  
  
singing for the last hour. "Five hundred thirty six beers on the wall, five  
  
hundred thirty six beers..."  
  
"Spike, if you don't shut up, I will learn telekinesis and jam that table  
  
right up your..." Angel is interrupted by the door swinging open, and  
  
Willow and Andrew coming in.  
  
"Where is he?" Willow asks hastily.  
  
"You mean RoboVamp?" Spike says, "He just skipped out."  
  
"Where? Where's he going?"  
  
"Back to Craterville."  
  
"He's going to Sunnydale?"  
  
"There's more." Angel says, "We know what his revenge plan is."  
  
"What?"  
  
Meanwhile, Warren stops at a gas station just outside of LA. "Hey,  
  
buddy, could you fill it up? Make it quick, I'm in a hurry."  
  
The attendant comes out. "Warren? Warren Meers?"  
  
"Um, yeah."  
  
"Man, I haven't seen you since high school! Remember me?"  
  
"Johnny Kricfalusi?"  
  
"Yeah! I was on the football team!"  
  
"Oh, yeah, I have fond memories of the...football team."  
  
"Hey, I heard you died."  
  
"Yeah, I get that a lot. Hey, Johnny, wanna hear a secret?"  
  
Back at Wolfram and Hart, the battle is down to about twenty vamps,  
  
and just the Angel gang, all the guards lying dead. The gang are at the end  
  
of their strength, and the vamps are circling them, getting ready to lunge.  
  
Suddenly, a couple get dusted, and behind where they were are Angel and  
  
Spike.  
  
"Sorry, folks," Angel says, "We got a little sidetracked."  
  
Right then, Willow and Andrew arrive at the gas station, and briefly  
  
get out to examine the stiff. "Oh, man." she says, "Well, at least we know  
  
we're right behind him. This guy's still warm. Give me the axe." Andrew  
  
hands her the axe, and she beheads the corpse. "Just making sure."  
  
Two hours later, Warren is dashing over the rubble lining the crater,  
  
with a shaped stick in his hands. "...And that way." He turns left a bit, runs  
  
a few yards, and stops. Tossing the stick aside, he reaches inside his pocket  
  
and pulls out a single bullet, which he found in a pile of medical waste a  
  
couple of miles due east. "The catalyst." He tosses the bullet among the  
  
rubble, then stands in a spell-casting pose. "Osiris, I plead of you, expose  
  
this one's final resting place, so I can bring her back!" Light erupts from the  
  
gaps in the rubble, which then shifts away from the spot. Out of the quaking  
  
ground, a headstone emerges. "Okay," he says, rubbing his hands, "Phase  
  
Two." He gets ready to start the second phase, but stops suddenly, spins  
  
around, and sees Willow behind him. "Oh, there you are." Gesturing  
  
menacingly, he raises two trees on either side of her, and binds her hands  
  
with vines. "Well, this is familiar, huh?"  
  
Break for commercial  
  
Warren stands in front of Willow, who's held in place. "Looks like  
  
you've got yourself in quite a predicament. Right now, you're thinking  
  
about all the messy stuff you did to me, and how I'm gonna do all that to  
  
you."  
  
"Actually," she says, "I'm thinking that even as a magi-vamp, you're  
  
a pathetic loser."  
  
"You know, the old me would have lashed out violently at that insult.  
  
But now, without a soul, doesn't bother me. In fact, I have only two words  
  
in response to that. Bored now." He then turns around, and says, "Geez,  
  
Andrew, you are the worst spy I've ever met!"  
  
Back at W&H, the gang are cleaning up the lobby after the enormous  
  
skirmish that's taken place. Spike turns to Angel, "You know, I'm still  
  
amazed at what that little prick is capable of. When I met him he was still  
  
living in his mum's basement, the last person you'd think could pull this  
  
off."  
  
"Well, we were a barfly and a poet, but look what we did."  
  
"Yeah. I hope Willow can stop that turd. Not just because of what he  
  
might do to us, but I don't wanna see that girl Tara vamped. Anyone but  
  
her."  
  
"You really liked her that much?"  
  
"She was one of the few people who had the balls to talk to me like an  
  
equal. Everyone else either saw me as some horrid creature or as the  
  
slayer's lapdog. She saw the real me. The complete asshole."  
  
"Well, I've been telling you that for a hundred and twenty four years."  
  
"Yeah," he slap Angels shoulder, "you have."  
  
At that time, Warren is facing Andrew, who's standing on a boulder  
  
with a crossbow pointed at him. "You think you can take me? You couldn't  
  
take me when I was a normal guy. What chance do you have now?"  
  
"It was you. It wasn't the First at all."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"That's what the dreams have been about. You took advantage of the  
  
First screwing with everyone to get revenge on Jonathan. You made me kill  
  
him!"  
  
"It was still you, Tucker's brother."  
  
"Yeah, well I've atoned for that. But I still have to stop you." He  
  
takes aim, and fires. The arrow whizzes past Warren's arm, missing by a  
  
mile, and hitting one of the vines binding Willow's hands.  
  
"Geez, did you learn nothing in archery class?" He zaps Andrew in  
  
the chest with a powerful bolt of lightning, then leaps up to the rock, where  
  
Andrew is lying half-conscious. "If I could do it all again," another zap, "I  
  
would kill you two simpering idiots first," zap, "and go solo." He shoots  
  
Andrew with a couple thousand more volts. "But, I guess better late than  
  
never!" He starts to power up a lethal bolt, then says, "And now...you will  
  
die." Before he can fire it off, a pair of hands grab either side of his head,  
  
and burn him, causing him to scream in pain. "AAAAUGH!!!" He drops to  
  
his knees, cranes his neck around, and sees Willow standing behind him.  
  
"This...ends...now!" She says.  
  
Panting, he comes back with, "Hackneyed much?"  
  
He's answered with a pair of hands on his back which burn him  
  
terribly. Willow forces him to the ground, screaming in pain, and continues  
  
to scorch him. He shrieks and struggles until, with a familiar sound, he turns  
  
to dust. Willow runs over to Andrew and helps him get up.  
  
"W-what did you do to him?" Andrew asks, trembling a little.  
  
"Remember the scythe? Tara told me that because I cast that spell on  
  
it, I was the only one who could destroy him. That's why the Powers That  
  
Be put up that shack in the first place. So, what were you talking about  
  
earlier?"  
  
"While the First was messing with all of you, he took it upon himself  
  
to pose as the First posing as him. It wasn't the First who got me to kill  
  
Jonathan, it was Warren. So, now that you've beaten him, is that shack  
  
gonna just disappear?"  
  
"No, Tara said there was one more person who needed their help."  
  
The next day, Angel, Wesley, and Gunn are in Angel's office, talking  
  
about Drusilla.  
  
"She was gonna take your souls?" Gunn says.  
  
"That was her plan all along. To have us to herself again."  
  
"Well," Wesley says, "I'm sorry she got away."  
  
"She didn't get away," Spike, who's standing in the corner, says, "she  
  
just got away from here."  
  
"Yeah." Angel concurred, "She's waiting for us in London. I'd hate  
  
to disappoint her."  
  
In San Francisco, the blue bug is pulling up next to the closure shack.  
  
"You sure you're ready for this?" Willow says.  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be." Andrew answers. He gets out, and enters  
  
the shack. "Hello?"  
  
Out of the darkness steps Jonathan. "Andrew?"  
  
"Jonathan. It's you."  
  
"Hey, how've you been?"  
  
"Well, I, uh..."  
  
"I know, major guilt over killing me. It's okay, it wasn't your fault.  
  
I'm just glad you didn't go the same way he did."  
  
"Yeah, I, uh, guess that's a point."  
  
"Besides, I'm much happier now than I ever was alive. My death was  
  
the best thing that ever happened to me. Hey, you'll never guess who I'm  
  
dating."  
  
Somehow, Andrew knew instantly. "Katrina?"  
  
"Yeah, I ran into her about a month or so here, and she was totally  
  
understanding. She knew we never meant to harm her, and how bad we felt  
  
when she died."  
  
"Won't Warren be pissed?" Andrew asked, smirking.  
  
"Who cares! He's in hell now! Well, gotta get back. I'm playing  
  
D&D with Jon Pertwee and Deforrest Kelley. It's been nice to see you." He  
  
turned, and walked back into the darkness.  
  
"Yeah, it's mutual." Andrew smiled, and exited the shack.  
  
The End 


End file.
